Wondering and Wandering
by Chibi Fyrefly
Summary: When Athrun urgently calls Cagalli and tells her they need to talk she gets a little worried. Songfic to "A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa Carlton. Give it a try even if you don't like the song. R


A/N: Hello all! This is my first Gundam SEED fic and first songfic all in one, so I hope it's not to bad ; it takes place a few years after the war.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam SEED or Vanessa Carlton's song.

-=-=-=-=-=-

Cagalli shrugged her dark green coat over her shoulders while thinking. Athrun had called a few minutes earlier and told her to come over. He had said he needed to talk to her, and that it was urgent. The blonde ruler of Orb had sighed and dropped her work for the afternoon; after all, she did deserve a break. So she had put her work supplies away and grabbed her coat.

A few minutes later she walked out of the building and headed to Athrun's apartment.

-=-=-=-=-=-

Making my way down town

Walking fast

Faces pass

And I'm home bound

-=-=-=-=-=-

He lived a bit away, but it was still in walking distance, so this left her time to think. Her thoughts drifted back to the war. She was still doing repair work on her country. But she knew she could do it with Athrun's help and support.

She smiled to herself as she remembered how they had met. They had been on that little island. He had tied her up and later she shot him and bandaged his wounds. Oh, very romantic. She chuckled.

Cagalli was so lost in thought that she didn't notice the people around her getting thicker until she bumped into a little girl. The little girl looked up at her and smiled widely. She turned to a lady near her.

"Mommy!! It's the princess!"

Cagalli blinked and then realized the little girl meant her. She crouched down and got to the girl's eye level. "You're right," she smiled. "I'm Cagalli. And what's your name?"

The girl giggled. "I'm Aki, It's really nice to meet you your majesty!" Cagalli laughed at this.

"Just call me Cagalli." By then the girl's mother had come over. She bent down and picked up her daughter. Cagalli stood up with them. She turned to the mother who smiled at her. "I'm sorry about that Ms. Attha." The ruler of Orb shook her head. "Don't be. It was nice."

She then smiled at the girl. "Bye-bye Aki." Aki smiled and waved. Cagalli chuckled and continued on her way.

-=-=-=-=-=-

Staring blankly ahead

Just making my way

Making a way

Through the crowd

-=-=-=-=-=-

As she continued to walk her thoughts drifted towards the blue haired ZAFT pilot again. She remembered when they thought her killed Kira. She pointed a gun at him, yelling at him and wondering how he could do that since Kira was his friend. Athrun had told her he killed Kira because Kira had killed Nichol. Cagalli had wondered how killing some one because some one was killed made sense. In the end of the conversation and after a bit of crying she had given him a pendant.

-=-=-=-=-=-

And I need you

And I miss you

And now I wonder

-=-=-=-=-=-

Her mind now wandered to her battles in space. She loved the feeling of weightlessness; nothing to hold you down. It made her feel free of the responsibilities of the war and of Orb. Her first hug from Athrun was in space. And so was her first kiss from him. She loved it up there. Free of responsibilities and free to be with Athrun.

-=-=-=-=-=-

If I could fall

Into the sky

Do you think time

Would pass me by

Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles

If I could just see you tonight

-=-=-=-=-=-

She remembered how Athrun had always been by her side to comfort her even when he needed it more. Like when his father had died. They were both crying, but he was still strong for her. Cagalli sometimes got angry with herself for being so dependent on him. She thought that she should be able to help him out more in some way.

She also hated being too far away from him. Like when he had to go up to the PLANT's for ZAFT business, or when she had to leave for Orb duties. It weighed heavily on her heart that they had to be apart so often and for so long.

-=-=-=-=-=-

It's always times like these

When I think of you

And I wonder

If you ever think of me

-=-=-=-=-=-

Another thing that brought doubt to the success of the relationship was that he was a Coordinator and she a Natural. She often wondered how she would keep up with him in the long run. It was infuriating thinking that she would somehow hold him back or that he would have to protect her, aside from the whole Orb scenario. It made her wonder why he loved her.

-=-=-=-=-=-

Cause everything's so wrong

And I don't belong

Living in

Your precious memory

-=-=-=-=-=-

But in the end it always came back to the same answer. He loved her because he needed her. That thought always erased the doubt in her head. She smirked to herself at the sentence. He needed her. He could never know how much that meant to her. Or how much he, himself, meant to her. She snorted. Stupid Athrun.

-=-=-=-=-=-

Cause I need you

And I miss you

And I wonder

If I could fall

Into the sky

Do you think time

Would pass me by, oh

-=-=-=-=-=-

She stood up from the bench she had sat on with a new look of determination in her eyes. _You had better watch out Athrun Zala! Because here I come!_

-=-=-=-=-=-

Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles

If I could just see you tonight

-=-=-=-=-=-

With a new determination in her heart and mind she set out for his apartment again, suddenly not caring what he wanted to talk to her about. Whatever it was would happen. She knew that. Athrun Zala, even the sight or thought of him, gave her strength.

-=-=-=-=-=-

And I, I don't want to let you know

I, I drown in your memory

I, I don't want to let this go

I, I've fallen

-=-=-=-=-=-

She found herself a block away from Athrun's building now. People stopped and looked at her standing there. Needless to say it was odd to have a princess just standing on a corner of a city block.

-=-=-=-=-=-

Making my way down town

Walking fast

Faces pass

And I'm home bound

-=-=-=-=-=-

She just looked at the window she knew was his. She and Athrun had spent many a night staring out of that window. She had often come over there when work was piling up, or when she was overstressed. He would just put up with all of her childish screaming ad ranting. And when she was done he would take her on the couch and they would cuddle and talk of times to come. She wondered if that would continue when this talk was all over. She had never heard him this serious, not even in the war.

-=-=-=-=-=-

Staring blankly ahead

Making my way

Making a way

Through the crowd

-=-=-=-=-=-

She made her way to the door and the doorman bowed, greeting her, as he let her in. She just smiled and waved it off. Everyone here knew her face of course. And the only person she ever came to visit was Athrun. He barely ever came to visit her, but she sort of understood that. Sort of

-=-=-=-=-=-

And I need you

And I miss you

And I wonder

-=-=-=-=-=-

Her heart pounded as she walked to the elevator and pressed the button of the floor where he lived. The doors closed in front of her as she continued to think. What could he want to talk about? Did he want to break up? Cagalli figured things were going smoothly considering their positions and the circumstances. But one could never know. She thought of space again. The final time after his father dies. She thought of them ejecting from the Strike Rogue with her in his lap. They were just floating together. She loved the feeling.

-=-=-=-=-=-

If I could fall into the sky

Do you think time, would pass us by

Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles

If I could just see you

-=-=-=-=-=-

The elevator opened and she walked to his door, which was near the beginning of the hallway. She knocked, but after a bit no one answered. When she tried the knob it was open. She entered and looked around the room and saw no one, but saw something on the coffee table. She went over and looked. By the little box was a note. It just said that Athrun didn't have the courage to talk about it, but that the contents would explain it all. Cagalli shrugged and picked up the box.

-=-=-=-=-=-

If I could fall into the sky

Do you think time would pass me by

Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles

-=-=-=-=-=-

She opened it and inside was a gold ring with a diamond intricately carved into the shape of a rose. Cagalli let out a silent gasp.

"For my goddess of victory." Cagalli spun and saw Athrun in the doorway to the kitchen.

"Is this what I think it is?" Her eyes were locked with his. He just nodded.

"Sowill you?" He had nervousness in his voice as he spoke.

Cagalli didn't answer she just flung herself on him, hugging him like there was no tomorrow.

All right, so it wasn't really talking about it, but it got the job done.

-=-=-=-=-=-

If I could just see you

If I could just hold youtonight

-=-=-=-=-=-

A/N: End. What did you think? Flames only welcome with constructive criticism. Pointless ones will be used to roast marshmallows.


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